Either Or
by Blossomwitch
Summary: Hiei's used to Kurama's full attention, then he suddenly finds himself playing third wheel. Has he missed his chance? HieiKurama, KuramaOC. Complete.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

It started out innocently enough.

It started at Kuwabara's birthday party. A large and assorted group of people had shown up - there was the spirit detective crew, Kuwabara's old gang, and many new acquaintances from the university Kuwabara had been accepted to. Shizuru had bought them all beer and at least half the room was tipsy. The guests were mostly entertaining themselves, seeing as Kuwabara had lost all interest in everyone else once Yukina had arrived.

The only person who didn't seem to be having a good time was Hiei. He was slouched in a corner, brooding. Kurama had dragged him here through many protestations, and now the fox was off somewhere else--to be specific, in the center of a small knot of admirers with a guitar in his hands. Despicable.

Kurama had stuck with his normal routine of at least trying to engage Hiei at first, bringing him a drink and introducing him to people. But then his attention had been caught by a boy who had brought his guitar and was now fiddling with it, playing absent snatches of what Hiei presumed were popular songs, and soon after Kurama had drifted away in a determinedly casual manner to grab Kuwabara's guitar and begin playing with the other boy. Hiei had been sulking in the corner ever since. Yusuke was completely ignoring him in favor of Keiko, and there wasn't anyone else there he cared to talk to or be with. He'd known he didn't want to come.

Since he had nothing else to do, Hiei watched Kurama and the other boy playing together. He had to admit they were doing well. If he'd had less pride he would have been among the circle of admirers. Kurama was bent over his guitar, hair falling in his face, the very picture of...

_Stop it, _Hiei told himself angrily. He had long ago come to terms with his attraction to members of the same sex, but it was not a step he was willing to take with Kurama, no matter how much he sometimes felt like it. There was too much to be lost if it went wrong.

Still...

Hiei couldn't help but notice how the other musician was looking at Kurama. Rather like he'd discovered a rare or delightful treat. Engaging him in conversation. Scooting closer. Kurama was either oblivious to the fact that he was being hit on, or receptive, because he talked back just as eagerly, allowed the movements closer.

This wouldn't be the first time Kurama had flirted with a human, or engaged in a relationship with one. But they all fell apart quickly. Hiei couldn't understand how Kurama could be so dense as to think a human could actually be a long term partner for him, when so much of his life would have to remain forever hidden. That wasn't the way to build a relationship. Hiei knew more about Kurama than any potential ningen partner could ever be permitted to know, so why did Kurama persist in pursuing them?

Or allowing himself to pursued, Hiei thought with a very dark look at the guitarists. Kurama seemed to have completely forgotten his existence. Hiei retreated further into his corner and wondered if there was anything to this human alcohol thing.

He stayed in the corner until he saw Kurama putting his coat on, and was just getting ready to meet him outside and walk home with him, largely for the purpose of giving him grief over the human boy, when none other but the same boy stopped him and talked to him for a minute. And then Kurama nodded and waited while the other boy put his own coat on.

Oh no. No, sorry, that was one thing Hiei was not going to allow, someone else walking Kurama home. He stalked across the room.

And was halted, no more than halfway across, by a hand on his shoulder. He turned around ready to attack the person, but it was Yusuke. "Let him go," Yusuke said.

"Out of my way, detective."

"You're going to lose him if you keep this up."

Hiei was momentarily stunned. By the time he had stopped staring at Yusuke, blinking in confusion, he realized Kurama had already left with that boy. "What?" he finally said, flatly.

"Come outside for a second."

Grudgingly, Hiei followed the detective out into the backyard, empty except for a couple of smokers, whom they bypassed. "Alright, detective, what is it?" Hiei asked impatiently.

"I take it you don't like Kurama leaving without you."

Hiei shrugged. "He's the one who dragged me to this abysmal place."

"Or is it that he was leaving with another guy?"

Hiei snorted. "Please, detective," he said with disdain.

Yusuke rubbed the back of his neck. "Hey, sorry. It's just that Kurama was saying a funny thing to me the other day." Yusuke's voice was carefully casual. "He said that you've never shown any signs of wanting to be in, you know, a relationship with him--except when he tries to date somebody else. And then he says you get obnoxious and are constantly there and bugging him and the other guy and undermine it until the relationship falls apart -- at which point you go back to ignoring him half the time, giving no indication of romantic interest, until he decides to try something again."

Hiei was momentarily stunned. "He said all that?"

"He sure did, and he sounded pissed about it. He said it's like you won't have him, but won't let him have anybody else. I've gotta tell you, Hiei, one of these days soon he's gonna get sick of it."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean he isn't going to put his friendship with you above other relationships anymore. He's going to tell you to shove out and tell the other person to ignore you."

Hiei stood subdued for a moment, trying to imagine his fox treating him that way. He was so surprised by hearing all this - not the least that Kurama had been telling it to Yusuke, not straight to him - that he actually asked, "What do you think I should do?"

"I think you should lay off," Yusuke replied promptly. "You've more than had a chance to be with him, and you've never taken it. So give him some room to breathe. Or make up your mind and go after him, one of the two. Just stop being a pill, 'kay?"

And with that, Yusuke clapped him on the back and vanished back into the party, leaving a subdued and bewildered Hiei behind him.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

"It's really not that far. I appreciate you walking with me, though."

"No problem." Kenrin smiled at the boy he knew as Shuichi. "Gives us a chance to keep talking."

Kurama nodded in agreement; but in actuality, awkward silences were falling fast and thick between them. It didn't seem to bother Kenrin, though; he was as bold about the silence as he was about everything else. Kurama was wavering between being intrigued and amused by the young man; whichever he decided on, he knew he was glad Kuwabara had invited his new classmate to the party.

Classmate. "What are you studying?" Kurama asked, seizing on the new topic of conversation.

"Medicine. I want to go into family practice."

"I had almost expected you to answer music."

"No, it's just a hobby."

"You're quite good at it for just a hobby."

Kurama was surprised to see Kenrin blush. "So are you."

Silence descended again. Kurama was debating talking about his own studies, just to keep the conversation going, when Kenrin suddenly said, "Shuichi, are you... you know..." He shrugged, blushing again. "Bi, straight, gay?"

Kurama allowed himself a grin. "What do you think I am?"

"Well, if you're not at least bi then I'm making a right fool out of myself, aren't I?"

Kurama laughed. "I'm bi," he assured Kenrin, feeling that the ingenuity of the young man's response deserved a straight answer.

"So I'm not making a fool of myself?"

Kurama heard the subtext of Kenrin's question and considered it for a minute. One of the advantages of being Shuichi was that people were willing to approach him this way; the only people who had ever dared to flirt with Youko all had hidden agendas. It was refreshing. "You're not making a fool of yourself," he allowed.

"Then can I hold your hand?"

"You're certainly bold," Kurama remarked. But he freed his hand from his jacket pocket and held it out all the same.

Kenrin shrugged. "I figured I'd have to be. Kuwabara says you already have a fan club at the university you go to."

"Kuwabara exaggerates," Kurama said lightly, wishing it was so. He was saved from having to explain further by his house coming into view; he gently directed Kenrin to it and they stopped on the porch.

"Can I see you again?" Kenrin asked simply.

Kurama cocked his head and smiled. "I think so."

"Only think so, hm?"

Kurama leaned forward and gave Kenrin a light kiss. "I hope so." And before the startled boy could react, the fox had nipped inside.

Once the door was shut Kurama grinned and congratulated himself on his exit. It had been a few hundred years since he had played this game; it was refreshing, exhilarating almost.

But why was he playing it with a human boy?

Kurama's insides deflated considerably. He had gotten so caught up in the thrill of the game, he had forgotten its inevitable conclusion. Dream flower pollen. In the eyes of this boy; in the eyes of Maya, the first person he had felt for in this human form; in the eyes of everyone after her, everyone who was either used against him or came too close to the truth. He clenched his fists. Why was he doing this to himself?

_Because you're lonely, Kurama,_ came the answer. _Because you miss being mated. Because you like this boy, and you want to give him a chance._

_A chance to do what?_ Kurama argued with himself. _A chance to get involved in things he can't possibly understand? To get hurt?_

_A chance to care about you_, the first voice answered. _A chance to make you care about him._

Kurama sighed deeply and headed up the stairs to his room. It wouldn't work. He knew it, and he was going to try anyway, and they were all going to get hurt.

Once he reached his room he went to the window and opened it, but he was greeted by an empty tree. Now, _that_ was puzzling. He would have thought for certain Hiei would be there, ready to lay into Kurama for leaving him in the midst of a ningen party. But not only was he not there, there was no scent on the breeze to indicate he had been. Feeling a little bit abandoned, Kurama went to bed.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

"Why are you talking to _me_ about all this?"

Hiei scowled. "Because. You understand these--relationship--things."

"I'm flattered, Hiei, but the situation is pretty complicated."

"What's so complicated about it? Look, Keiko, just tell Kurama to quit going after humans. That's all there is to it."

"Why would he listen to me if he doesn't listen to you? You _are_ his best friend."

"Because! I don't understand relationships."

Keiko smiled triumphantly. "Exactly, Hiei. You _don't_ understand."

Hiei scowled at her. "What's not to understand? Kurama can't be with these humans, it's as simple as that."

Keiko looked at him shrewdly. "Hiei, are you _really_ concerned for Kurama's welfare? Or are you just jealous?"

Hiei surprised Keiko then--instead of grunting or becoming angry, he turned away, his shoulders slumping slightly. "Jealous, I guess," he said in a tone that meant to be offhand but didn't quite make it.

There was a moment of silence. "Well. I didn't expect you to admit to that."

"But you knew. You knew, and Yusuke knew. It seems like everybody knew except for me."

"Well, it can be hard to realize these things," Keiko said, trying desperately to hide a smile. She couldn't believe she was having a conversation with Hiei about his feelings.

"But what do I do?" Hiei asked impatiently. "How do I get Kurama to cut it out?"

"Well, first of all you have to decide whether you want to be with him yourself or not. Do you?"

Hiei stared at her, unblinking. She made it sound so easy. "I don't know."

"Well, you have to figure it out. It's not fair to ask Kurama to end this relationship without knowing your feelings."

"But it's not just about that," Hiei insisted. "Humans are wrong for Kurama. There's no way someone who's demon or even part demon could maintain a relationship with a human."

"Yusuke manages pretty well," Keiko said archly.

"But... but you know about everything."

"Well, maybe Kurama will eventually want to tell somebody all about it too. Humans aren't the point, Hiei. The point is whether you want Kurama or not. If you do then you've got a bit of a problem, because from what I hear he and Kenrin are really getting along. And if you don't, then you've got to let him find happiness his own way."

Hiei grunted. "And if I do?"

"Then you have to let him choose."

Kurama closed the door behind him with a sigh, his lips still tingling from his goodnight kiss. But it wasn't a pleased sigh he had given. Not that kissing Kenrin wasn't pleasing, it was just...

It was just that they had been going out for a month now and Kenrin still called him Shuichi. Kurama had known other humans, classmates and friends, who knew him only as Shuichi for years on end and it had never bothered him. But he had never liked a human as much as Kenrin. Kenrin was brilliant, artistic, kind, and most of all keenly interested in Kurama, which made it all the harder.

Tonight Kenrin had told Kurama about his parent's divorce when he was little, and how it had hurt him. The urge to respond by revealing his own emotional wounds to the boy had been so overwhelming Kurama had nearly become mute for fear of what he might say if he opened his mouth. He wanted to do something he'd never done before (unless you counted Yusuke) and tell Kenrin everything about his past. He had barely spoken for the rest of the evening, and had come home with only one thought to his mind: that one way or another, this couldn't go on much longer.

To top all his emotional turmoil off, Hiei was MIA and had been for nearly as long as Kurama had been dating Kenrin. Kurama knew the two weren't unrelated. Hiei had never looked well on Kurama's relationships with humans; Kurama didn't know whether it was jealousy or simply Hiei being Hiei. Even if there was jealousy involved, he didn't know if it was Hiei wanting Kurama's time to himself or Hiei wanting to date Kurama himself. It wasn't like Hiei ever explained himself. The only thing Kurama knew for sure was that always before the fire demon had made himself as obnoxious as possible when Kurama tried to be with someone else, and now he had vanished. Kurama had even tried calling out to him telepathically, but there was no reply.

Which was he was surprised, to say the least, to go upstairs and find Hiei in his bedroom.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Sorry the chapters are running so short in this and my other fics. They just seem to come out that way.

Chapter Four

"Hiei?"

"You look as though you've seen a ghost, fox." Hiei was sitting on Kurama's windowsill as calmly as if he owned it.

"I thought for a moment I had. You could have easily died in the month since I've seen you."

"Well, clearly I didn't."

"Where have you been?" Kurama persisted.

Hiei shrugged. "Here. There."

Kurama frowned. Hiei was clearly not in a talking mood, yet here he was. How to proceed? Kurama decided not to drop the subject. "I was a bit worried. You don't usually stay away for so long without giving me some kind of warning."

"I thought you might be too busy for me."

So it _was_ about Kenrin. "You should know better," Kurama said mildly.

"Well, then, I thought you might be grateful for my absence for a few weeks." Hiei turned to face Kurama head on for the first time in the conversation. "So how _is _the human lover?"

"I don't have time for this, Hiei," Kurama said bluntly, suddenly irritated. He'd been through too much emotional turmoil already tonight, trying to figure out how he might make things work with Kenrin, to come home and have to face the complications Hiei brought. "If you have something to say, say it."

"I only asked a question."

"He's fine. Kenrin is fine." Kurama ran a hand through his hair. "Hiei--why have you really stayed away for so long? Are you angry with me?"

Hiei shrugged, looking away again. "I think you're being an idiot," he muttered. "But it's not really any of my business."

Kurama stared at him. "In the past, you've _always _made my relationships your business."

"And maybe I've realized that isn't fair to you. I've got to let you pick on your own. Look, fox," Hiei said, jumping down from the windowsill, "I had to stay away for a few weeks because I had to, and it wouldn't be fair to explain why to you right now. But you know how I feel about you having relationships with humans. There's no need to go back over it. Let's do something."

"Do..."

"Spar. Talk. Walk. Anything. This is my way of saying I missed you, idiot."

Kurama was about to answer, but the phone rang.

Hiei knew he was taking a risk, pretending he didn't care that Kurama was with someone that wasn't him. But he had come to the conclusion over the past weeks that as much as a large part of him wanted to be in Kenrin's position, it wasn't fair to Kurama to bring it up until he was absolutely sure it was what he wanted. It was like Yusuke had said, he couldn't bar Kurama from having any other relationships and yet be unwilling to have one with him himself. But it was hard to pretend he wasn't jealous. All in all Hiei was very glad when the phone rang.

"Hatanaka/Minamino residence... Oh, hello." Kurama looked at Hiei, suddenly flustered. Hiei's eyes narrowed slightly. "Why are you calling so soo... oh. Yes. Yes, I miss you too..."

"Who are you talking to?" Hiei asked, though he had a fair idea who it was.

Poor Kurama was looking more and more flustered. "Kenrin," he whispered to Hiei before turning his attention back to the phone. "What?...Oh, it's just--my friend, he's over here... My friend Hiei..." Kurama listened for a minute, and when he spoke again he sounded cross. "Kenrin, don't be ridiculous. I'm not seeing other people the second your back is turned or anything like that. He just dropped by, and if you hadn't had school tomorrow I wouldn't have even been here and he would have left." Kurama listened for another minute. "It's okay...no, I'm not mad, it's understandable...See you tomorrow. Bye."

Hiei's eyes narrowed further. He hadn't liked the way Kurama's voice got all soft when he said goodbye to Kenrin. Kurama put the phone down and massaged his temples lightly, looking very put-upon. "Oy."

"Keeps you on a tight leash, doesn't he," Hiei couldn't help remarking.

"He was just a little alarmed at hearing a stranger's voice here so soon after he dropped me off," Kurama tried to explain.

"Why is he even calling you so soon? What could he possibly have to say?"

"It's sweet," Kurama defended. "It's a romantic gesture, to say he already missed me. I like it."

Hiei raised his eyebrows. "You didn't seem to like it. You seemed upset."

"Only because I knew you wouldn't understand," Kurama muttered. He sighed. "I like these kinds of gestures, Hiei. I know it's not something you would do or want done but I do. Please try to understand that."

Hiei blinked. Yusuke had been right--Kurama's patience with him was wearing thin. "Okay, fox. Okay."

Kurama crossed his arms, looking out the window. "I can't blame him for being suspicious," he said with a sigh. "I can't exactly explain to him why you're here at any hour of the day or night. Or can I," he added, softer.

Hiei fought down alarm at the thought that Kurama might actually be considering telling Kenrin everything. "Only if you have some dream pollen handy afterwards," he said.

Kurama gave him a wan smile. "Yes." He sighed deeply. "Only then."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Over the next few weeks, Hiei lived two lives.

In one, he pretended everything was normal. He spent a carefully calculated normal time amount of time with Kurama and slept at his house on rainy nights. They mutually avoided the topic of Kenrin.

In the other life, his shadow life, Hiei carefully masked his energy so that Kurama could not sense him and unapologetically stalked the couple. Not a date between Kenrin and Kurama passed that Hiei was not also present. He studied every move Kenrin made, and every smile or frown it brought to Kurama's face. He puzzled over the romantic gestures that made Kurama's face go soft, wondering how he could emulate them. He was, in short, trying to learn how to be Kenrin.

The process was agonizingly painful. Hiei had never known what true willpower was until the night he sat still as stone, fists clenched in his lap and katana still within its sheath, while Kurama shared kiss after heated kiss with someone not himself. He couldn't watch, but he couldn't leave, either; he remained frozen, numbly telling himself that it would be over soon. He couldn't face Kurama for a few days afterward; he knew his face would betray everything if he did.

One night after a pleasant date he nipped ahead of the happy couple to be waiting for Kurama at home, and was surprised when Kurama entered his room with tears in his eyes. He looked up, startled at Hiei's presence. Hiei frowned; since entering the house, he had been making no effort to disguise his energy, and the fox should have known he was here.

Kurama looked at him helplessly, and Hiei suddenly understood the tears. He was in mourning for Kenrin, for a separation that had not yet occurred. "You're making this hard on yourself, fox," Hiei said softly.

Kurama nodded. And then, he crossed the room and without speaking, put his head on Hiei's shoulder and began to weep.

Hiei's eyes widened. He patted Kurama's back awkwardly, at a loss for what to do. He was more than uncomfortable, but Kurama didn't seem to expect any more comfort from him than his presence. So Hiei remained there until Kurama had cried all the tears he had to cry, and pulled away from him. When he looked at Hiei there was gratitude in his eyes, but there was also something else. It was the something else that kept them looking at each other for far, far too long.

Not long after that, Hiei was again shadowing Kenrin and Kurama as they went for a walk together in the lazy summer sunset. Hiei was envying the easy way their hands fit together and wondering if he would look stupid doing the same thing. When they stopped and sat together on a park bench to watch the stars come out, Kenrin's arm went so comfortably over Kurama's shoulder that it both perplexed and infuriated Hiei. _I really have been an idiot, _ he reflected grimly. _It's obvious to everyone but the two of us that I want him. And now that I've finally realized it, I can't tell him. _

Hiei was too busy in his own thoughts to pay total attention to the conversation, but he noticed when it stopped and looked down. There was tension in Kurama's shoulders. "Shuichi?" Kenrin inquired.

"Kenrin, my... my name isn't Shuichi. Or rather, it's only one of my names."

"What are the others?"

"I can't tell you."

By now, Hiei's attention was so riveted on the conversation that the slightest noise would have startled him right out of his tree. "Then why did you bring it up? I don't understand."

Kurama took one of Kenrin's hands in both of his. He was not looking at him. "Kenrin, I... I really care about you." Kenrin's shoulders took on their own tension. "But... I have to end this."

There was a brief silence. "Why? What have I done?" Kenrin asked softly.

"You have done nothing but act wonderfully towards me, Kenrin," Kurama said, his voice heavy in its sincerity. "You've been perfect. It's me. Something about me, and I can't tell you."

"Shuichi, I deserve an explanation."

"You deserve much more than that. You deserve someone who can love you, someone who's as good as you and I..."

"Stop it." Kenrin cupped one side of Kurama's face in his hand, and Hiei inched forward along his branch. "Stop right there. Don't you dare put yourself down in front of me, and don't you ever feel unworthy of anything. Now tell me what this is really about."

Hiei ached with inadequacy, hearing the tenderness in Kenrin's voice and knowing he could never reproduce it. Kurama turned his face slightly into Kenrin's palm. "There are things I can't tell you," he said simply. "Things about my past, and it affects us. I should never have been with you to begin with, I knew I couldn't kpee you. I just..." Kurama shrugged. "I just wanted to. I'm sorry."

Kenrin leaned forward to try to kiss Kurama, but Kurama turned his face aside. "You're not making sense," Kenrin said, tightening his arms around Kurama in compensation for the missed kiss. Kurama didn't try to throw him off, but he looked miserable. "I can't imagine anything you could have done or anything that could have been done to you that would change... don't you see how much I care about you?"

"I do see," Kurama said softly. "That's why I can't let it get any farther than this."

"But you're not in charge of who I chose to love," Kenrin said firmly. "Now tell me what this is really about, and I'll tell you how little it matters to me."

Kurama didn't answer. He sat silently inside Kenrin's arms, and Kenrin watched him intently, and Hiei hovered over the scene, invisible and paralyzed. And the word love lingered in the air.

tbc

IMPORTANT A/N! I have two endings in mind for this story and I have decided to write them both, splitting off from this point. I need reader's votes as to which ending you would rather I write first; the more conventional, happier ending, or the less conventional and more poignant one. Thanks!


	6. Chapter 6, version 1

A/N: I actually updated this? Never fear, I sometimes lose track of my stories, but I rarely permanently abandon them. The less conventional ending won by a landslide in your votes, so here it is, the first part of ending one.

Chapter Six, Version One 

"I can't tell you," Kurama reiterated miserably.

"Shuichi, if it's a secret I swear I'll take it to my grave," Kenrin said solemnly. "But I need to know. You... you're one of the better things that's happened in my life, one of the best things, and if I'm going to lose you then I need to know why."

Kurama was still. "You won't believe me if I tell you."

"At this point I'll believe anything you tell me. I promise."

Kurama took a deep breath. "Alright then."

Kenrin settled down with his arm around Kurama's shoulders, and Kurama haltingly began to speak. Kenrin didn't speak except to say yes or no when Kurama briefly explained to him about the three worlds, asking if he believed in heaven and hell, monsters and demons, and telling him what he knew to be true. Kenrin nodded, looking skeptical, but also looking like he knew this wasn't the real blow, that something was coming. Hiei would say this for Kurama; he looked his human partner straight in the eyes when he told him about actually being a demon, about being hundreds of years old and a reformed criminal, about the narrow escape and his possession of Shuichi, and his reentrance into demon affairs. Hiei's name came up, as did Yusuke and Kuwabara's.

Kenrin didn't interrupt. He waited until Kurama was clearly done speaking, and an awkward silence lingered in the air. "Shuichi, I don't know what to say."

"Say you think I'm crazy."

"I think you're making up this story to see if I'll pretend to believe you or not. I don't know why, I don't know if you mean to be cruel or why you would hide your real reasons for breaking up with me behind this fantastic story..."

"Allow me to demonstrate."

Kurama stood up and held out his hand for Kenrin. Kenrin went with him willingly. Hiei followed from the treetops as Kurama led Kenrin into a secluded area of the park. He had a pretty good idea of what Kurama was going to do.

Sure enough, after they were encased in a small clearing Kurama produced a rose from his hair. "Do not be alarmed," he said. "I will not harm you." Then he proceeded to change the rose into a whip.

"Neat trick, Shuichi. How'd you manage it?"

"I changed it with my demon energy."

"You don't expect me to believe that."

"I don't expect you to believe any of this. I'm telling you because you asked to be told. Name something that will make you believe me, and I will do it."

Kenrin studied him for a few moments. "I can't think of anything. I mean, I don't know what--what demons could and couldn't do, if there are demons. I don't even understand what you've said enough to guess whether it's true or not."

Kurama looked at him with sad eyes. "At least you are trying to believe."

"I'm trying to because I can't believe any other reason you would tell me these things, Shuichi. But I really don't..."

Kenrin trailed off, staring. In place of the redhead he had been speaking to, there stood a tall, silver-haired fox.

"Don't be alarmed," Kurama said softly. "It's only me." And then he returned to his human form.

Kenrin was trembling. Hiei could taste his fear in the air, and he knew that Kurama could to, and that it was probably hurting him. "We have a few options now," Kurama said, calmly. "I can make you forget all of this. I can make you forget that you ever knew me, as well as everything I've just told you. I think that's the best option. Or you can try to go on with the knowledge of this other world. In the past I have deadened many people's eyes to the demon events happening around them; but I find I have to give you the option. You may tell me what to do, Kenrin."

Kenrin was still shaking, but his tone was firm. "If I forget all this, then I loose you."

Kurama turned his head away. "Kenrin... we can't continue to be together, no matter what."

"Why not?"

"Because I am a demon, and you are a human. It's not fair to involve you in all of this."

"The hell with that, Shuichi," Kenrin said angrily. "What's fair is letting me make my own choices. What's _fair _is for you not to run away from me simply because we're different."

Kurama stared at him. "You can't possibly still want to be with me. I lied to you; I'm a criminal on parole. We're not meant to be together."

Kenrin crossed the clearing to Kurama. "For someone who gets the grades you get, you can be remarkably stupid," he told him. And then he kissed him.

Hiei shut his eyes against that kiss. But his third eye was still open, and he could sense if not see Kurama stiffen with shock, then slowly respond. The response was death to Hiei. Kurama was willing. And Kenrin was not going to let go without a fight.


	7. Chapter 7, version 1

Chapter 7, Version One

"Kenrin... I wish you wouldn't do this."

Kenrin tightened his arms around Kurama's waist, studying him. "What? I know you don't mind my kissing you, Sh-- Kurama." The new name was pronounced carefully from Kenrin's lips. "So what is that you wish I wouldn't do?"

"Fight for me," Kurama replied, his tone forthright and almost angry. "I wish you would just let me go. I wish you would let me make you forget all this. I wish..." Kurama trailed off, helplessly, and Kenrin only tightened his arms and looked at him in concern. "I wish this could work," Kurama whispered.

"You know what I wish?" Kurama shook his head. "I wish you would give me a chance. I wish you wouldn't automatically assume that I'm freaking out and that I can't handle this."

Kurama studied Kenrin's face. "I lied to you."

"I'm aware of that. You took a big step by telling me the truth. And from what I understand you're lying to a lot of people, so I don't feel put upon."

Kurama smiled slightly. "Well... that is one way of looking at it."

Kenrin studied him for a minute. He raised a hand to brush back Kurama's hair. "So... what do your friends think about all this? I mean, you dating a human?"

"I assume you're referring to those who actually know what I am..."

"Yeah."

"Well, Hiei hates it." Hiei jumped at the mention of his own name. "Yusuke and Kuwabara are also involved in demon/human relationships, though, so..."

"So it can work," Kenrin said with a mischievous glint in his eye. Kurama shrugged. "Here you were leading me to assume you had some _reason_ to assume a human/demon relationship would fail and in actuality you're watching not one but two of them progress."

"They're not easy relationships."

"Who told you life was easy?" Kenrin studied him again for a minute. "Kurama, are you willing to try to make this work?"

"If... if you are, then I am."

Kenrin's arms tightened around the fox again. _My fox._ For a moment Hiei was nearly ready to jump down from the tree and do battle, but something held it back. It could have been concern for Kurama's feelings, or a simple unwillingness to admit to eavesdropping; but the feeling was older and more corrosive than that. It was inadequacy...it was uncertainty in his own worth. The space inside Kurama's arms--_If I deserved to be there, I would have been there long ago._

_You never gave him a chance to love you_, a small part of himself argued.

_And is it fair--to give him that chance now?_ Hiei looked down, watched the way Kurama watched Kenrin talking, watched the way his eyes filled with something quite rare for the kitsune--unabashed hope. Hiei knew, he knew beyond doubt, that if that heavy gaze was directed at him he would not be able to stand up under it. Kenrin didn't even flinch.

Slowly, masking his energy all the way, Hiei descended from his tree and walked away, leaving the scene as it should have been all along--two young lovers with renewed hope shining over the heads, and nothing lurking in the shadows.

_Seven months later_

"No one's poisoned the food, you know, Hiei."

"Idiot."

Kenrin regarded him levelly. "That was uncalled for, I think."

Hiei accepted a cookie from the plate Kenrin was holding out to him and shrugged. "You should come back to the party," Kenrin continued, encouraged by Hiei's acceptance of his peace offering. "It's Christmas. You know--fun, joy, etcetera?"

Hiei snorted. "Foreign concepts. You go back--your fox will be missing you."

"He'll be missing you too, you know. It drives him crazy when you do this, show up and then lurk in the corners all evening."

"Then he shouldn't invite me."

Kenrin shook his head. "You are impossible." But there was no malice in his voice, and he left the tray of cookies as he went back inside.

Hiei munched on a few as he continued watching through the window, not minding the snow that fell on them. The bakas were having their annual get together, chasing each other around the room with that strange mistletoe plant, giving each other gifts. They dragged Hiei along every year. The only thing that was different now was Kenrin had an accepted place within the old crew, as accepted as Keiko's.

Hiei watched Kenrin catch Kurama as he overbalanced trying to hang a streamer from the ceiling. Kurama grinned and kissed him. Hiei smiled too, though not as broadly as the fox. He smiled to see Kurama so happy; smiled to see that his mate was so close and so attentive as to catch him when he fell. He smiled to see Kurama so secure in his relationship, and thanked the gods once again that he hadn't stopped his fox from having that kind of happiness. Sure, the first few months of watching them together had been hard, but gradually, and grudgingly, Kenrin had earned Hiei's respect. He was confident and loving, a good combination--confident in both himself and his feelings for a certain kitsune, unafraid to worm his way into an old group and win them all over one by one, unafraid to stay by Kurama's side through the strange things that now occasionally happened.

He was, in short, a good mate for Kurama. Hiei had already told Kurama he expected his old friend to marry this one. And told him, truthfully, that he would kick Kurama's ass if he didn't.

Because everything was as it should be, now. There was warmth and light inside the room; there was love, and it encircled those who sat there. Yukina was happily settled in her partner's lap, secure in everything she should need; and Kurama was also settled, next to Kenrin, their hands lightly entwined. All as it should be. And Hiei was sitting just outside the lighted room, watching it, watching over their happiness and content in it, not feeling the cold around him and not caring to come in out of it.

After all, everything was as it should be.

A/N: To those who want to kill me right now...

Kenrin _is_ a good mate for Kurama. He's the little OC that could and I couldn't stay true to this story without acknoweldging that there was every possibility things _would_ work out for them. I also think it's very in character for Hiei to behave how he behaved in this chapter. Now, I know we're all huge HK fans out here, which is why I'm writing a second ending, the one I originally intended. I just had to throw this out here first.


	8. Chapter 6, version 2

A/N: Whew! You guys certainly are protective of Hiei's feelings. Don't think I've ever gotten so many negative reviews for anything than what I did last chapter... but I stand by it as a plausible ending. Thanks for everyone's patience with this story, I promise this ending will be kinder to Hiei. This picks up right where chapter 5 drops off, so you may want to reread it first.

_Chapter Six, Version Two_

"This isn't love," Kurama said quietly. "Not yet, at least. You may think you love me, Kenrin, but--"

"Spare me," Kenrin said. "I'm not twelve. I know it it's love, not yet; but I think it could be. And I want to know why you don't want to let that happen."

Kurama hesitated before speaking, seeming to consider his words carefully. "It's not that I don't want it," he said finally. "It's that I'm too much of a realist to let it happen."

"You're not making sense again," Kenrin sighed.

Kurama scooted closer to him. "Close your eyes," he said softly. "Just close your eyes, and I'll tell you everything to make it make sense."

It was a measure of trust that Kenrin didn't hesitate or ask questions, but simply did as Kurama bade him and closed his eyes. It was a measure of the betrayal of that trust that as Kurama put a hand on Kenrin's shoulder, whispering something no doubt soothing and deceiving into his ear, his other hand already had the flower he needed in it. Kurama had decided before he left his house tonight; he had known before this conversation began how it was going to end.

To any casual observer it would have been a romantic scene. Two young lovers sat on a bench together, one whispering sweet nothings to the other and gently touching his face. Only Hiei knew the truth; that Kurama's fingers were laced with a gentle, mind-bending poison, and that the words he whispered were not words of love but words of command, telling Kenrin's brain which memories to hold on to and which to let go, which to rewrite and which to discard altogether. Kenrin sat placidly in his arms.

Several minutes later Kurama stood and left the park. Hiei watched Kenrin for a moment. The young man sat smiling softly on the bench, eyes still closed, without a care in the world. Hiei had seen this kind of sleep before, and he knew it would wear off. He flitted after Kurama.

Kurama went straight to his house, and then straight to his room. He did not open the window, or even unlock it, so Hiei kept his ki masked, knowing that he would be an unwelcome visitor. Kurama looked lost for a moment, and Hiei ached to go inside and comfort him, even if it was only as a friend. But he didn't. There was something between himself and Kurama that wasn't friendship, and as out of touch with the various tones of relationships as Hiei was, he still knew that made him less than ideal comfort for Kurama tonight. So he didn't make himself known as Kurama shook himself out of the brief stupor and changed into his pajamas, going to bed even though it was very early for him to be doing so. He settled back against the tree, watching over Kurama as he fell into sleep, and thought.

So. Kenrin was no longer an issue. Immediate crisis adverted. But that didn't mean Hiei would be going back to his old ways. There would be no more resting on his laurels, no more sitting around waiting for the next threat to come. He was going to do something. The past month had caused him to realize how he felt about Kurama, and the best word to sum those feelings up was possessive. He wasn't going to let any more silly ningens walk off with his fox; and if that meant he had to give more of himself, to keep Kurama, so be it. He wasn't scared of something as silly as taking their relationship to its next level...

...and, because that was a bald-faced lie, Hiei found himself the next morning once again forced to rely on the help of someone he had once kidnapped.

(_there's supposed to be a line break here, but I can't get to upload any symbols, so use your imagination...)_

"Hello, Hiei. Pleasant surprise, as always. Yusuke's not here right now..."

"I came to talk to you."

"To me? It wouldn't be about Kurama, then, would it?"

"He broke up with that stupid ningen."

"Well, that's good... I mean, I'm sorry he's hurting, but it's good for you, right?"

Hiei stared at her blankly. "What do I do now?"

Keiko sighed and sat down. "Well, right now you don't do anything. Anything other than what you usually do, that is. Be his friend." She gave a second sigh at Hiei's perplexed expression. "I know it sounds counterproductive, but you need to give him some time before you try anything. Breakups take time to get over, even if they're little ones, even if he's the one who started it. You have to give him time to let go of his feelings for Kenrin, or you'll do yourself a disservice." She held Hiei's gaze until she got a small nod of agreement from him. "Give him a few weeks at the very least, maybe more like a month."

"And then?"

"Then you tell him."

Another blank stare; another sigh. "You know--like open your mouth and tell him how you feel."

Hiei turned to stare out the window, crossing his arms over his chest, the very picture of stubbornness. "Hn."

"Of course, you could always wait around for the next contender for his affection..."

"And you've told Yusuke exactly how you feel about him, have you? You two are always frank with each other and put your feelings into words when the need arises? You communicate well? I haven't seen that much in evidence over the years."

Keiko flushed. "Alright, fine. Maybe it's not as simple as just telling him. I never thought you would be one to be afraid, though."

Hiei sent her a look that could have leveled half the Dark Tournament, but he didn't say anything. "Okay. So we find a way for you to let him know without just plain and simple saying it. Probably better that way anyway; it's more romantic. You have to show him, not tell him." Keiko tapped her lips, thinking. "You could try just touching him, seeing how he reacts, but I don't think it's the best course of action. Either that or you could--but no, that won't work, you're Hiei. I don't think romantic gestures are your style."

"Demon romance consists of not killing each other," Hiei informed her. "Or, perhaps, killing other people _for_ each other."

Keiko paled. "I was thinking more along the line of roses..."

"Roses are weapons to Kurama."

"Right... but you have to win his human side over, too." Keiko paused to think again, wondering as she did so if she ought to open up a school for teaching demons romance. First Yusuke, now Hiei... "Let's think... what have Kurama's past boyfriends done that he liked? What's he shared with people before?"

To her surprise, Hiei volunteered some information. "This last one liked music."

"Music, that's good." Keiko snapped her fingers. "Kurama does like music, it would show him that you've been paying attention."

"_What_ would show him I've been paying attention? What do you think I'm going to do?"

Keiko shrugged. "There are options. I don't suppose I could get you to write a song for him." Hiei's arm twitched. "Didn't think so. But you can still find a song that expresses how you feel about him, lots of people do that for their partners."

"I am _not_ wading through hordes of ningen music."

"Fine," Keiko said impatiently. "But I thought you wanted to keep him."

"I'm certain there are other ways."

"You could write him a note," Keiko offered. "That can be easier that saying it aloud sometimes, and it can be romantic, too. Or, if you're feeling particularly juvenile, you could always have one of your friends clue him in, but that's entirely _un_romantic."

"You think I'm going to tell anyone else before I tell him?"

"You told me."

Another Tournament-levelling glare, and Keiko found herself collapsing cross-legged on her bed with yet another sigh. "This is going to take awhile..."


	9. Chapter 7, version 2

Chapter Seven 

_Six Weeks Later_

"Hiei?" Kurama called cautiously as he entered his room. He peered about in confusion. The fire demon's scent was in the air, but a quick investigation revealed no actual fire demon. Kurama frowned. Since Hiei's parole had been lifted and he became able to move between Makai and Ningenkai freely, he rarely if ever used Kurama's room as a hideout or a place to sleep anymore. Why had Hiei stayed long enough to leave his scent, but not long enough to actually see Kurama?

Scanning the room again, not really expecting to find any clues, Kurama was surprised to note a few pieces of paper and a CD that he had definitely not left on his nightstand that morning. He walked over a picked up the CD first; after a cursory examination revealed it unlabelled, he set it inside in favor of the paper, which bore a note. He was only mildly familiar with the handwriting, but again the scent was unmistakable. Kurama sat back on his bed to read.

_Fox,_

_I think this is a really stupid way to communicate. I'll admit though that I don't know a damn thing about ningen romance, and Keiko insists this is the appropriate thing to do. I want it made really clear that I think it's stupid. Then again I guess I should explain what the stupid thing I'm doing is, aside from leaving you a note when I could just be talking to you. But talking's not my strong suit, as you know. Even writing this is something like torture, but there's really nothing else I can do. So, enough dancing around, and to the point._

_A few months ago Yusuke took it upon himself to make me aware of a certain behavior of mine; specifically, me being an ass whenever you date someone. You may have noticed I wasn't as much of an ass as usual while you were dating Kenrin. I was spending the time trying to figure out why I acted like that. I told you at the time that it wasn't fair for me to impose what I thought about dating humans onto you. But the real truth is that I was jealous. I've always been jealous of every stupid human boy you've ever shown interest it. I do still hold to my point that they can't understand you but I realize now that that isn't the issue. The issue is that I want to date you myself. I realize that sounds stupid given my utter lack of comprehension of human courtship, but it's true. While you were dating Kenrin I thought it out and decided it's a lot stupider to lose you to some damned ningen than it is to come out with it and tell you what I want. Only Keiko made me wait for you to "get over" Kenrin and I don't even know now if this is the right time for me to tell you this, but I'm going to go mad if I don't soon. So here it is, and if you want to see me when you've read this, I'll be in the park._

_Oh, and you're probably wondering what's going on with the CD. I'm sure you've guessed by now that I asked Keiko what ningens do when they love each other, and she gave me a lot of ridiculous ideas but this one was slightly less ridiculous than the rest, especially since I know you like ningen music. If you think I'm writing a song myself, like she also suggested, you've got a hell of a long wait coming. But this one didn't seem so bad, and it might help express what I'm trying to say, since as we've already established, I'm not good at doing that and thus this whole note idea is, well, rather stupid._

_Hiei_

Kurama read the letter several times. The first time his expression was befuddled; the second, a small smile crept across his face; and by the third, he was grinning outright. Even if he hadn't recognized the scent or the handwriting, there wouldn't have been a moment of doubt in his mind as to who had written it. It was so very Hiei--gruff, insulting, blustering, but underneath that there was genuine tenderness. Perhaps another might not have been able to see it, but Kurama could. The fact that Hiei had actually taken pen to paper and written about his feelings was enough to prove the depth of them, no matter how many times Hiei had called the action stupid--and there was the song, too, to consider. Still grinning, Kurama popped the CD into his player and pressed play curiously.

There was only one song on the CD, and it was in English. Surprise washed over Kurama, who was unaware that Hiei knew the language--then he started listening and got caught up in the song. He played it through several times, smiling to himself, before he realized with a start that it was growing dark outside. How long ago had Hiei been here? Quickly, Kurama grabbed his jacket and headed to the park.

* * *

Hiei was nestled high in the branches of one of his favorite trees, watching the night grow around him. He knew it was late and that Kurama probably wasn't coming, but something kept him from leaving. Just in case--and it wasn't like he had been going to sleep anywhere else, he reasoned with himself. The first few hours after he had left Kurama's room had been full of more anxiety than Hiei could ever recall feeling, for no battle had ever lasted that long--but as the day lengthened and remained fox-less, Hiei had slipped into a sort of melancholy meditative state, refraining from any thought which might prove painful and just waiting for night and sleep to come.

So it was in that state that he was caught completely off guard when a voice from below him firmly spoke his name.

Hiei looked down and found Kurama standing almost directly below him, his head tilted far back to look at Hiei. When their eyes met Kurama continued in a tone that left no room for argument, "Come down here."

Hiei hopped down to the ground, not even thinking to disobey. He faced his partner warily, not sure what to expect.

Kurama simply looked at him for a minute. Then he stepped closer, and put one hand on the back of Hiei's neck--and Hiei found himself drawn close and subjected to the longest, most lingering kiss he could ever have imagined. He was too shocked to return it, but it didn't seem to deter Kurama in the slightest. Hiei offered no resistance when Kurama's arms wrapped around his shoulders and pulled him still closer, nor when Kurama's tongue sought entrance to his mouth. Finally, when Hiei's mind had dimly registered that he would need to breathe soon or pass out, Kurama released his lips, but not his shoulders. Hiei looked up at him in wonderment and found the kitsune's eyes full of warmth and affection, and an equally warm smile on his lips. Despite himself Hiei started to mirror the expression. When Kurama leaned forward to kiss him a second time Hiei was confident enough to kiss him back, and when Kurama purred his pleasure Hiei wrapped his arms around his partner's waist and pressed him close. "I wasn't sure you would come," he admitted when their lips parted again.

"I came as soon as I got it," Kurama said. "Hiei--did you mean what you said? You really want to date me? Or is this just going to be another layer in a weird relationship?"

"I want you to be mine," Hiei said, shocking both himself and, from Kurama's expression, his partner with his frankness. "I want you not to date anybody else. I want you to belong to me. If I have to do the ningen thing I'll do it; just so long as you stay with me."

"Hiei?"

"Yes?"

"Why did you leave me an English song?"

This wasn't any of the questions Hiei had anticipated, but Kurama seemed genuinely curious. "I couldn't find the right one in Japanese. The librarian translated it for me."

"You went to a library?"

Hiei shrugged. "The music I stole from Yusuke and the idiot was terrible."

Kurama's eyes were shining. "You really put a lot of time into this."

Hiei shrugged again. "It was important," he said simply.

Kurama wrapped his arms more securely about Hiei. "I can't believe you're actually courting me the ningen way," he said, his tone and expression making his delight obvious.

"Well, you are half ningen. I wasn't sure how you'd react to a demon courtship."

Kurama's smile turned from delighted to mischievous--and almost, if Hiei dared to think the word, seductive. "Care to find out?"

Hiei blinked at him a few times. Aside from the not killing one another part he had mentioned to Keiko, demon courtship pretty much involved... An answering expression of wicked delight stole across Hiei's face. "Definitely."

Kurama disengaged himself from Hiei just enough to walk, keeping one arm across Hiei's shoulders and turning them towards home. "Then just try to keep up with me, Hiei. I've been waiting a nearly decade for you to ask me; now that you finally have, I'm not going to let you go without a suitable answer."

_finis_

A/N: Did I... finish it? I did! Thank you all for sticking with me on this one, I know it's been a long and slightly bumpy road. For those of you curious about the inclusion of the English song, because I know it's a little weird, an explanation: this story started out, way back when, as a songfic. It turned out to be an unneccessary pause in the action to include the lyrics here, but I had to remain at least somewhat true to the original idea. The song that inspired the piece was "Fall to Pieces" by Avril Lavigne; to me, that is exactly how Hiei would feel about a relationship, not wanting to fight or cry or talk about it, but simply to exist in it. As always, I highly recommend looking up the lyrics. _  
_

Oh, and I sort of lied... there is an epilogue coming. Just to tie up a loose end or two. But this is still _technically _the end...


	10. Epilogue to version 2

Epilogue

(This takes place a few months after the end of the story)

The coffee shop was lit dimly, for it was late on a Saturday night. The guitarist kept glancing to the corner as he played, curious about the redhead who stood there, leaning against the wall. He wondered if the young man wanted to speak to him. He was certainly never looking at him when Kenrin glanced over, but neither was he doing anything else, and something made Kenrin feel that he was indeed being watched. There was something--Kenrin knew he hadn't seen the redhead before, and yet he thought that if he would look up, if he could meet those eyes just once, he would recognize him.

But when he finished his set, the corner was empty. Shrugging, Kenrin packed his guitar away until next week, and put the mystery out of his mind.

Several blocks away, a shorter and darker figure finally consented to join the tall, red-haired one. They walked in silence for a moment. "Have a nice chat?" Hiei finally asked darkly.

"We didn't speak," Kurama corrected mildly. "He wouldn't know me, after all."

"Have a nice time, then?"

"Not really." Kurama was well aware of the jealousy in Hiei's voice, and he slipped an arm lightly over the other's shoulders. "I didn't intend to. I just thought I'd see how he was doing. He was kind to me, once," Kurama finished the explanation quietly.

A short pause, and then Hiei asked, with more sincerity and less pique than one would have anticipated, "Fox, do you ever regret how things worked out with him?"

"Regret?" Kurama queried, looking genuinely confused. "How could I--I'm with you, aren't I?"

"Yes, you're with me."

"Then I don't regret anything."

One of them kissed the other; but they weren't certain who started it and who accepted it, it happened so naturally. And then they walked home, holding hands, and retired for the night ; but it was hours before they slept.

_A/N: Okay, now it's really finished. Just had to throw that out there. Again, thank you to everyone who stuck with me for the incredibly long ride on this one. More ficcies coming soon. :)_


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